It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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