New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I need moral support for this bender
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
