Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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