Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
