We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
