windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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