As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
