i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Dick very happy bro
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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