I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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