# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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