you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I am available for nakedness
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize