My brain says no but my pants say off.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
