That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
