there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
