just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize