Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
