She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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