As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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