you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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