how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
