a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
