Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Blow job season was short but glorious.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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