Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
is wine microwaveable?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
