Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
