Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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