this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
