shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
