Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
