i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have fence marks all over my body
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
