You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
