This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
