I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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