brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
