Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
