ya dads aren't the best wingmen
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize