another moral hangover. fuck.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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