This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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