i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
