biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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