Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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