it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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