Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Randomize
