Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
