remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize