im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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