nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
