i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
