3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
