This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
