If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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