Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
