Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
