Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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