I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
