I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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