How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
