we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
