oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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