Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
