after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You need Xanax blowdarts
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
