Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
